The Perfect Child by Lucinda Berry (Book Review!)

  Holy Moly. Listen, over my lifetime I've probably read close to 500 books. I'm only 32 and I'm including all the books I read as a child in that count. I devoured books. My mom used books as a punishment for me. My child loves books too, I hope she loves them when she grows up too. I read mainly psychological thrillers, horror, realistic fiction. I'm not entirely sure if realistic fiction can be considered a genre? If not, I'm declaring it now. Realistic Fiction is fiction that feels so real, or is based in reality so deeply you have to keep checking the copyright page to make sure it's listed as fiction. My books on this list include Ham on Rye by Charles Bukowski, Life as we Knew it by Susan Beth Pfeffer and The Perfect Child by Lucinda Berry- which I just finished.

     The Perfect Child by Lucinda Berry is the first book in about 5 years that I completely and fully immersed myself. I LIVED this book. I started it one afternoon at 12:30- I had already read 27% of it. I just finished it not but 20 minutes ago and I am just now coming out of my reverie. It completely fucked my brain up. Completely. I actually found myself getting irritated with my daughter, like she was the little girl in the book. I had to put it down, come back down to earth and refocus on her. I love books where the writer uses their expertise to write a fiction book. I feel like I need to clarify because, Mary Roach has written numerous books. I own every single one (Except Spook & Fuzz but they are on the list). She writes things more as a researcher than someone writing a fictional story based on perhaps lived experiences. This book is about a couple in the medical field, who are married & having fertility issues. They treat the same child in the hospital who is there because she was very abused. They decide to foster-to-adopt her, but in the mean time the wife gets pregnant. The daughter seems to be problematic. However it has a very "The Omen" vibe to it. The child isn't EVIL in front of the Dad but very manipulative and horrific to the mother. It goes on and on until everyone in the book basically meets their breaking point.

I think the book touched so deep inside me is because:

1. The dad character has the same name as my husband.

2. The Characters are going through fertility issues (So were we).

3. The daughter manipulates both parents by using triangulation and sometimes it feels like our daughter does that. For instance, I'll have a horrible day with our daughter. He's home, he hears it. She screams, cries, yells. He hears me try to be calm until I eventually scream, cry and yell back (somedays). My husband will come out from his office and just be ready to tackle the day.

     Lately I've just needed to go lay down from some pain I got while sleeping or whatever the night before. He thankfully-unlike the character in this book- believes that she can be horrible. However, thankfully she exhibits no sociopathic traits or any sign of psychological trauma. She is a PERFECT child. We literally could not ask for a better child. She slept well, ate well, eats well still, is mainly kind, listens pretty well, empathic, and at 3 can already name her emotions. Obviously the little girl in the story had experienced so much trauma in such a short amount of time. It's a wonder she came out of it as well as she did.

This was written in a way that made it very easy to read in terms of technicality. The words were clear, the plot points were there, the shock factor was there, the twists kept me engaged. It kept me guessing all the way to the last page! However, the story its self was grueling. I felt so much shame for this family, hatred for the child protective services system, the foster system, the adoption system. I felt so protective over these characters. I wanted to shield them from the pain of their ordeal. I have literally only felt like this for a few books. I think this one was so real because I HAVE a daughter. I feel fiercely protective of her just like the Dad did. The description of postpartum depression into postpartum psychosis was so realistic, I felt like I currently had it! During my first pregnancy I was warned that because of my history of depression & anxiety it would be likely that i would suffer from PPD. I did for a few weeks, stopped breastfeeding and felt immediately better. I rarely have panic attacks anymore, mainly just wildly manic episodes (with none of the downsides?) My mania is mainly rooted in cleaning & organizing. I rarely ever experience week long depression stints. However, I have had the same thoughts that the mother did about her baby and involving other people. I am having a very hard time realistically separating myself from the characters. I feel like I had an out of body experience. I felt like i was looking in on MY life and still living inside the book. I recently read somewhere that people are surprised at how people think about things. Like, apparently only men can rotate a 3D Cube in their head? I can do that.... Apparently some people can't envision things in their heads? I have built a movie set for this book in my head. If I could work AutoCAD I would literally draw up what this house looks like to me. I kept trying to imagine famous actors as the characters in this book. I literally can't think of anyone but I could see their stature, their bodies, but never their faces. I create entire cities built up in my head. I dream in them. I have a dream city with skyscrapers, dream mall, movie theater, strip mall center... It's all up there.

I give this book legitimately 5 out of 5 stars. I loved every minute of it. Every twist, every turn. I gasped audibly at parts (I haven't done that since reading Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk in high school- which I also wrote a paper about). I actually almost cried in several parts! I definitely have to apologize to my daughter tomorrow and put the book down and play with her. I guiltily ignored her too much today. I am definitely a good mom. I'll write more on that later.